When I was a young and single student in New York City a few decades ago, I lived with my young and single girlfriends. Sometimes we would have animated discussions about a potential match for one of us. We all had strong opinions about the suitability of the guy to be a good husband. The frank discourse helped us understand ourselves better. We were like an Indian twenty-something version of the women in “Sex and the City” TV series.

Unlike the stars in the “Sex and the City” series or other contemporary series like "Gilmore Girls", we all eventually found the partners we were looking for. Interestingly, our friends and families helped us along the way more than we had expected.

Have you ever looked at a dating and matchmaking site and become depressed about the lack of people that are compatible with you? The service provides you with potential matches that seem to check all the requirements you asked for, but these matches somehow fall short.

What could be the reason for the mismatches in the matchmaking software? Could it be that your fundamental requirements have not been articulated? Could it be that your friends or families know you better than you give them credit for? Could it be that the app is not really asking the questions that you want answers to?

If only the matchmaking service was more collaborative than solitary , you would have a better probability of finding a good match for you. If only you could customize the questions to your needs, maybe you will find the answers you wish for.

Since I love connecting people and matchmaking, I would like you to answer the following questions for me.